Imperfect People

Imperfect People in love with a perfect God

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Tag Archives: grace

Mom guilt

Faced with the overwhelming responsibility of mothering the next generation; mothers often feel like we are not doing enough, or not doing it just right. 

I am certainly guilty of this myself, and I have never met another mom who didn’t feel the same. 

Although it’s a positive sign that we’re trying to do our best, we need to learn to let it go so that we can be our best.   A guilty conscience is doing no one any good, if anything it is just causing frustration.  Either a change needs to be made or an acceptance needs to take place. 

Truthful Guilt:

In this type of guilt there really is something that could be better.  What is nagging over your head that you know needs to be changed?   You have put it off for whatever reason.  Let’s not wait any longer.  Our children are growing up everyday, let’s take steps today to make our tomorrow the best it can be. 

Guilt from Unrealistic expectations:

I feel like my picture should be beside these words with a stamp on my forehead saying “guilty”.  Actually, I do need a picture for this post….

We compare ourselves to our neighbor who has a beautiful yard, our best friend whose children can recite the entire bible (minor exaggeration), the one whose home is always immaculate, and the one who is always doing craft projects with her kids. 

My favorite saying around here is, “We compare ourselves to what others are on the outside to what we know to be true of ourselves on the inside”

Yes Sally (names changed to protect the innocent) may be crafty, but I bet she doesn’t have the talent you do! Be thankful for Sally’s talent and note that she probably doesn’t have yours! 

We all have at least one talent, but not one of us have all the talent. 

Most importantly comparing ourselves to others is a lose, lose battle.  The only perfect one worthy of comparing ourselves to is Jesus.  He was not a mom, but  He was an amazing and effective teacher.  He corrected and showed grace at all the right times. He was selfless and He loved….like REALLY LOVED, even when we didn’t deserve it.  What a model!!

When you feel the unwelcome feeling of guilt creeping in again:

  1. Determine if it is true or unrealistic guilt
  2. If it is true: Do something. Make the changes right then, or take steps to make the situation better.
  3. If it is untrue.  Thank God for making  you the mother that you are.  Focus on what you do well.  And enjoy doing what you do best with your kids. 

As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

What do you think? Do you carry mom guilt? I love your comments!

Indecisiveness Anonymous

I have a horrible time making decisions.  Anyone else with me on this?  It’s not just the big ones either. 


  When Bryan and I were dating we were taking one of those personality tests.  The question was “are you decisive?” I immediately answered (as serious as can be) “Yes! Well…no, I don’t know what do you think?”  Then both of us busted out laughing.

I once spent a half hour trying to decide the most healthy snack I could find at a gas station.  I got frustrated for wasting so much time and ended up with a donut. 

Naming our children was also a HUGE decision.  I couldn’t commit.  What if we messed up and and named them something that meant something weird,  or said something offensive in the “banana” song…this is very important ya know. 

Suffice it to say I am horrible at making decisions. 

Often times I know what I want but the decisions that affect another person are much tougher.  I am your typical first born people pleaser and it pains me not to make everybody happy.  What if I pick Mexican for dinner but everyone else wanted Italian?  Oh the stress!

The wise Andy Stanly wrote a book on this subject (sheww I guess I’m not the only one with these issues)  suggesting us to ask “the best question ever” when making decisions.  Which is:

In light of my current situation and circumstances, what is the WISE thing for me to do. 

Sometimes my “current situation” refers being a wife and mom and sometimes, more specifically,  it means right here at this moment when faced with X decision what is the WISE thing for me to do. 

We just created afamily mission statement and I LOVE it.  It hangs on the wall reminding us of what is TRULY important.  When opportunities present themselves this mission statement gives me direction and FREEDOM to choose what is most important. 

I am learning to say no to the GOOD things so I can say yes to the BEST things.

I am learning to say OR instead of AND

I am learning just because I am available and CAN do something does not mean I SHOULD. 

I am learning to guard my time and be okay with (gasp!) not making everyone happy.  Trying to please everyone means I truly please no one.  Making the decisions that honor the Lord and my family are what are most important. 

I am in no way cured of being indecisive.  But taking a step back and looking for the WISE thing to do helps me decide regardless of the other circumstances. 

Now…what to cook for dinner????

Do you consider yourself decisive or indecisive?

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del.icio.us Tags: Indecisive,christian,simple living

What does God think of Imperfect People?

 

These people look different than me.  I am a regular ole white girl. I don’t dye my hair any fun and crazy colors and I don’t have any abnormal piercings.  I don’t normally hang out in biker clubs, bars, or tattoo shops. I don’t know how it feels to be treated like an outcast, and I don’t know what it’s like to be discriminated against.

But I do know one thing for sure.  EVERYONE was perfectly designed by a God who doesn’t make mistakes. God LOVES us all equally.  There are people everywhere that want to fall in love with a Savior that knows them by name, but first they need to meet a Christian who cares enough to know their name.

Father forgive me for ever passing up the opportunity to meet one of your beautiful children because they didn’t look like me.  Forgive me for not getting out of my comfort zone more and hanging out with someone who didn’t agree with everything I think is right.  Help me to see the beauty in every person you created.  Help me to love those that not everyone else loves.  Use my voice to tell them they are loved.  Use my arms to welcome them into my home, and my life.

To answer this post…we are all imperfect.  I am no better than anyone else because of the way I look, dress, my denomination, my political party, my piercings or lack there of. 

He loves us just the way we are.

Our God used a kid (David) to kill a Giant, a runaway fugitive with a speech impediment (Moses) to free his people from Egypt, a prostitute (Rahab) to carry the lineage of Christ, and a baby born king with parents that were just regular people to change the course of history.

Although imperfect, they sought after God, and God used them to do great things. The details of how these spiritual role models made mistakes was recorded in the Bible for a reason. God uses us not in spite of our weakness but BECAUSE of it. His strength is made PERFECT in our weakness.

In fact I can’t think of a single story where God called the person that was the most “fit for the job”  He makes us fit for the job.  He is famous for using unlikely sources to do unimaginable greatness. 

People come in all different packages. The outside is just the wrapping paper. I pray it won’t stop us from getting to the real present, the gift of meeting another one of God’s children.

My prayer:

“Give me your eyes for just one second give me your eyes so I can see everything that I’ve been missing, give me your love for humanity” –Brandon Heath

“You know someone needs encouragement if they are breathing.”

Truett Cathy said it best, “You know someone needs encouragement if they are breathing.” 

Everyday we are berated with “you can do better, you can be more attractive, you are not quite good enough.”  But noticeably absent from our culture are the efforts made to appreciate each other. 

Positive Reinforcement is a great way to teach children.  Even train your pet.  And while I’m not trying to get you to “train” anyone to do anything I am saying with all the research that a pat on the back goes along way you would think we would do it more often. 

I think being summoned to the bosses office should at least occasionally be a good thing.  Or taking our kids to the side let them know we noticed how well the were sharing and we are so proud of them.

The forgotten art of handwritten notes is a great way to encourage others.  There is something special about going to the mailbox to find a letter with your name on the outside handwritten.  You know its not a bill, it is someone who took the time to sit down, write something special to YOU, pin down your address, and even found a stamp!  Handwritten sticky notes are also very sweet to leave around the house or to place in a work bag, lunch box etc.  My husband is so sweet about doing this before he leaves on trips.  Sweet little sticky notes to find while he is gone. 

But there is also nothing wrong with sending an uplifting email or facebook message.  I try to be sensitive when i notice a certain person keeps coming to mind.  If I know they are going through a hard time I try to make a POINT (because it has to be intentional) to give them a call or just touch base somehow.  I don’t always do it and I often miss the boat but the times I do get it right it is such a blessing to pass on some encouragement. 

I wonder what our world would look like if we actually told each other how much we appreciate each other and did it often. 

Now if you will excuse me I have a long overdue note to send to a friend.