Imperfect People

I’m a big hot mess y’all.  Seriously I have got in way over my head.  I have overcommitted, under delivered and exhausted myself doing “good things.”

I was talking with my husband this summer about how I feel my gifts are to work with young women and write.  He was astounded, “Reallly? I don’t disagree with you but what in you life reflects this?”

I felt like I had been punched.  Mind you, a well needed perfectly timed punch back into the reality I had created.

Here’s the scoop.  Back in January of 2013 Yes WOW it has been almost 2 years ago, I felt like God almost audibly whispered my FOCUS needs to be with college/high school girls and writing.  I was excited about my focus and dove in with two feet as I do pretty much everything.  But somewhere along the ay I got totally lost.  

I have gotten involved with lots of “good things” I have said YES to pretty much anything anyone as asked of me.  I am leader of this committee, contact person for that, volunteer for this, and coordinator of everything else.

Last semester I quit leading a college group because I was “too busy” I haven’t written anything in months and guess what…I have been a an un-focused un-joyful disobedient basket case all coming to a head when I realized my FOCUS was totally off.

One of my dear friends pointed this out to me last night.  She simply said you are all stressed out because You are not doing what you are called to do!!!

How funny/annoying/ironic is it that I was told by the creator of the heavens and the earth, the one who knit me together, the one who knows every minute of my past and future what my focus should be and it took me TWO years to come back to it?

Apparently I was like, “Oh good idea God, but look this is pretty and shiny let me go over there, this looks fun let’s do that too!” Sometimes I feel like my faith is about as mature as a 3 year old.  I’m reading Lysa Terkherst new book, The best Yes.  This has been another perfectly timed eye opener for me.  The main thing I am learning is there are a lot of GOOD ways I can spend my time but there are only a few BEST ways. I realize this may not sound revolutionary but sometimes you just need to be reminded.

So I’m reeling my chains back in.  Trying to FOCUS (lord I love that word) on where I am supposed to be.  Narrowing down my commitments and
learning to feel the joy again of being in the will of God.

We really and truly are all different parts of the body called to do different things and my obedience will look totally different than yours.

I’m writing this here for accountability and to see the journey of what it looks like when I come back to the feet of Jesus.

Have you ever gone astray from where you should be focusing?  I love your comments! Please share!