Imperfect People

Imperfect People in love with a perfect God

Share your story

Imperfect People - Imperfect People in love with a perfect God

Category Archives: Parenting

Hills worth dying on this fall

School has started back for us!  My inner rebel fights a schedule but I secretly love the predictability and routine that school gives us.  The newness of this time of year has stirred in me a desire to commit to a few priorities I want to fiercely protect.

2014-08-01 07.35.29

I always have grand ideas about what is important to our family but I rarely have the backbone or strategy to impliment anything.

Thankfully, one of my BFFS, i.e. soul sister, ie. new blogger gave me the idea during one of our summer pool-dates, i.e wear the kids out dates, i.e counseling sessions.   “Hills worth dying on” she called it.  The few things in the day to day that are worth putting her feet down, worth scheduling around, and worth fighting for.  The few things that are worth protecting for their family.

HillWorthDying

Taking her inspiration and after much thought, I also came up with a few hills worth dying on that are important to us right now.  This is certainly will look different in different stages of life so for now I will just decide on what’s important for the fall.  And here it is:

1)Family Morning devotion time:
 Mornings can be crazy for everybody but we always have at least 15 min while the girls eat breakfast at the table, when we can read them a devotion.  It’s important to start our day off in the right direction, get good conversation going and help give our day some direction.  It’s a Hill worth dying on this fall. We plan to use these two this year (click on the picture for more info):



2)Reclaiming the bod
I have never been much of a fitness buff, but here lately I have gotten into a few classes at the gym and some yoga DVD’s at home that I really REALLY love.  I feel better, I look better, and as they say, “When mama’s happy everybody’s happy.”  So this mama makes working out a hill worth dying on!

3) Turning my phone OFF for 1 hour a day:
I work from home. (If you need T shirts, polos or promo items you should msg me!) It’s great that I can set my own schedule but I also have to guard and protect the times when I’m working and when I’m home even when I’m in the same place.  Turning my phone off for one hour when the girls first get home from school has been REVOLUTIONARY for me.  I have tried just turning it on silent but something about turning it totally off is just magical.  It helps me remember that the most important place for me to be, for that hour, is with them.

4) Weekly alternating date nights: We implemented this a little bit last spring but look forward to scheduling this every week in the fall.

The schedule will be something like this:
Week 1: Mommy Daddy date night
Week 2: Mommy and Little 1 date night/Daddy and little 2 date night
Week 3: Mommy and Daddy date night
Week 4: Mommy and Little 2 date night/Daddy and little 1 date night

And there you have it. That is what we have committed to for the upcoming season.  What about you?  Have you made any new commitments for the new school  year? What are your “hills worth dying on?”

I love to hear your comments!

What if Mary had said no?

I love the Christmas Manger scene.  Sitting so pretty on most mantles at Christmas it’s a beautiful reminder of the miraculous day.

As a mom I can’t help but stare a little longer at Mary.  I am imagining all that she might be thinking.  Not only right there at the manger but at the very beginning when the Angel said she would have the baby.

Nativity_tree2011

What if Mary had said no?

Have you ever considered this?

Mary who is engaged to be married is being told by an angel that she is to carry the Lord’s son.  There are about a million things she can be worried about.

Not only is she facing possible execution, her fiancé leaving her, and ridicule…  In the unlikely event that everyone believes her I think it would be totally valid for her to think: What about me and my plans?  I am about to get married!!  I don’t want to have to alter the wedding dress!  I like being a regular girl, everyone is going to ask me tons of questions!   I really am too busy for all this right now!  God can you find someone else?

Can you imagine this in today culture?  What with all our “plans and schedules”  I’m afraid we would just be too busy for such a task!

bows

But instead of any of these excuses she says:

 “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be with me just as you say.”

I think Mary “got” something that we often just don’t comprehend.

It wasn’t about her.

She had the amazing privilege to be the mother of Jesus because she was willing to be “the Lord’s servant.”

This is HUGE

And her self sacrificing doesn’t end there.  Imagine you have agreed to carry God’s baby and it comes time for you to deliver.  I don’t know but I’m thinking maybe an angel comes and offers a big palace for me to deliver and it is a totally pain free child birth complete with people fanning me and feeding me grapes.

But as we know from the story she has to make a long journey on a donkey only to find there is NO ROOM for them at the inn and she has no choice but to deliver Jesus in a manger.

You would think Mary would be shouting,
“UMM HELLO HAVING GOD’S SON HERE??? Can someone ELSE sleep in the manger for crying out loud?!!”

Yet Mary knew this wasn’t about her…it was ALL about Jesus. 

Every piece of her story, her pain, and even her frustration was all part of the beautiful story that we still remember today and will remember for generations to come.  I wonder what parts of our lives, are weaving together to ultimately be part of a bigger story?

The best we can ever hope for in this life is a supporting role to the most amazing lead character that ever was or ever will be…Jesus.    So many of us are fighting to further our own little kingdom.  We are wrapped up in making our name famous, when if we could understand it’s not about us:  It’s about Jesus.

While I certainly believe Mary was the one God choose but what if, for example, she had said no.  She would have been free to do live her own little “important” life not to be inconvenienced with the fear of being stoned and shaming her fiancé and family.   Yet her  own little plans and agenda would have died with her generations ago and we would never even know her name.  

Making His name famous, furthering His kingdom, and doing HIS work.  His name is the only one that will last through the generations.  Why is it so hard for us to realize this?

I can get so caught up in my “own little kingdom”  Am I listening for God’s direction?

Mary was truly the Lord’s servant.  She put her own plans, fears, and excuses to the side.  None of that matters when the God of the universe has other plans.

 
 

Jesus loving Elf on the shelf modeling acts of service

This is our first year with an “elf on the shelf”

I never thought of myself as an “elf kinda mom” but we have had SOOO much fun with this little elf…I’d probably have an elf even if I didn’t have kids.  But seriously.

On the first night she (ours is a girl) came to visit I was looking on pintrest for all the creative ideas our little elf could do but my husband suggested why not let our elf be a little different than the rest.
Frosty Sugar Socks (yes that is her name) left this note on the first night of her visit:Screen Shot 2013-12-12 at 2.04.44 PM

We thought Frosty could help set an example for our girls and still have fun in the process.  Every morning they wake up they can’t wait to see what Frosty has been up to!

Here are a few examples:

IMG_2841

IMG_2813

The one in the lego’s she left a note that said “When you play make sure you share and be kind to your friends”

IMG_2845

Our girls LOVE seeing what she has been up to every morning!   There are so many possibilities!

We are having so much fun.  Do you have an elf at your home?  What is your favorite thing he/she has done so far?

Media Minimization March week 1 what I have learned so far

Our first true test of this whole media minimization came quickly.  The second day of March was on a Saturday.  It was the first Saturday in ages we had NOTHING planed.

Not a birthday party, baby shower, or a single thing on the agenda.  It was FREEZING outside and we are sticking to 7 hours TOTAL of any screen time at all per WEEK.  (click here for why)

Sooooo what’s a family to do?

We got creative.  We went swimming under the dome at the local park, we did puzzles and went for ice cream after dinner.

I was worried the kids would rebel against the whole idea but they kind of like it.  The great thing about kids is their ability to go with the flow.  When the screen time is up, it’s up.  And it’s time to get creative.

For me, I have had a hard time justifying what is “work” and legitimate internet time and what isn’t.  So the rule obeyer in me (she’s very small but still there) decided to give up instagram and any status updates (facebook or twitter) for the month as well.  Those are much more of a sacrifice for me (I miss you instagram) but in sacrifice we grow BIG time.

You know how many people have missed my updates?  Let me count…..Hmmm…..ZERO.  Not only can I live without social media, it can also get along just fine without me.  

Bryan is limiting TV and other media as well.  We have MANY more conversations in the evening without computers or TV’s to compete with.  This whole experiment is way more tolerable together.  We hold each other accountable too.

But it’s not all happy puzzle time and ice cream either .  Media is not all bad.  Here are the cons I have experienced:

1) Status updates are kinda handy.  Anybody know how to fix a fridge?  And if you had to pick one would you choose a trampoline or swing set for your backyard?
(updates I have wanted to post lately)

2) I don’t take near as many pictures.  I never realized it but I was taking pictures mostly for social media purposes.  Please humor me and tell me how cute this little collage is of Ava at the mall the other day.  She was dancing in front of the mirror.

IMG_1518

At the end of the day this teeny tiny, hardly mentionable “sacrifice” helps remind me of the millions of people who have so much less than me.

Everyday, several times a day, when I stop myself from thumbing through my phone, I am reminded of HOW MUCH we have.  We are blessed beyond measure.  If limiting media can help remind me to enjoy the HERE and now, be present, and become less distracted…then I am all for it.

Media Minimization March

We didn’t start this whole idea with the goal of a clever title…but the 3 “m”s is kinda catchy if I do say so myself.

Have you heard of this book called “7” by Jen Hatmaker?  I’m kinda in love with it.  She takes 7 areas of her life lived in excess: Food. Clothes. Spending. Media. Possessions. Waste. Stress.   They spend thirty days on each topic, boiling it down to the number seven. Only eat seven foods, wear seven articles of clothing, and spend money in seven places. Eliminate use of seven media types, give away seven things each day for one month, adopt seven green habits, and observe “seven sacred pauses.”

A few months back we did stress, and observed the “seven sacred pauses”

For the month of March we are cutting back our media.  Media has a way of sneaking into stealing away our life.  It is very subtle but it happens everyday.  We decided cutting back media is a great way to re-focus on what we value as a family…each other.

12926_10100687063356651_745749670_n

In the book, they cut out 7 different forms of media completely for the month.  We decided to just cut all media back to a total of 7 hours a week.

What does this include?  For us we decided “media” was anything with a screen (music is permitted).  It gets a little tricky because,  of course, a computer is how we both work.  But thanks to a handy site called rescue time  it will automatically track where we spend our time online.   And true work will not count toward the 7 hours.

I almost choked on the air when my husband originally suggested we use our phones as just PHONES.  We have only had smart phones for about a year but I seriously think my iphone is as magnificent as disney world and cheesecake all wrapped into one.

Ultimately we decided it was impractical NOT to use all of the handy things a smart phone lets you check, but it would all count toward our 7 hours per week.  Toggl is an app that will keep me accountable there.

And of course TV.  I’m not much of a TV fan but the rest of our family is.  Cutting back on the TV for the kids means more work on us but I am really excited about all the alternatives we will discover with the default of TV gone from the line up.

IMG_0630

I originally thought 7 hours was a generous plenty (about 1 hour per day) but when you start to time ALL YOUR MEDIA into one hour…it’s not that much.

So far..it is going surprisignly better than expected.  I am learning a lot but that is for another post.  For now…my time is nearly up.

Have you every had a media fast/minimiztion?  What did you think?

Life lessons and temper tantrums

It was bed time and I was trying to get two little girls dressed for bed.  Ava, our spit fire 3 year old, was determined to wear her tinker bell nightgown this particular evening.  Which is all fine and good except that tinker bell night gown is sleeveless and it was 30 degrees outside.

She stammered her foot down with all the passion of a 3 year old that needs some sleep and yelled, “I WANT TINKER-BELL!” Then proceeded to cry as she threw her self on the floor.

temper-tantrum-girl-425ds061609_getty

Can you picture this scene? She is adamant that the tinker bell night gown is what she “needed” that night.  She thought she knew what was best.

As her mother, I try not to bust out laughing at the drama scene.  I wait until she is done, then explain why a long sleeve night gown is a better choice.  If she is still locked in on the tinker bell, I can let her get her way and freeze all night long, or hold her down kicking and screaming while I put on a warm pajamas.

I wonder how often our heavenly father sees the same scene in my life.  I am headstrong and SURE I want one thing, but God always knows better.

Sometimes he lets my bull headed opinions win out and I am stuck with the unpleasant consequences.

But sometimes, as a loving father, he puts up with my kicking and screaming, my impractical arguments and immature reasons.  He “dresses me warmly” even when I am too stubborn to realize it is what I need.

Sometimes I realize his good decision and sometimes I don’t, but I am learning more and more His ways are higher than my ways.  I just have to have a little faith.

Has this been a familiar scene in your life?  What have your children taught you about our Heavenly father?

Social Media and the view of “perfect”

Have you ever scrolled through your Facebook, read a few tweets, or read a blog of someone’s “perfect life” and felt a little inadequate?

It’s not like anyone means any harm. The very idea of social media is to share updates and highlights of our life. We are fascinated by it! We even follow stars we don’t personally know to read and see their last post.

We highlight the good, fun, and interesting part of our day.

Take for example, this picture I took the other day and posted to instagram.

myWPEdit Image

An outdoor picnic on a beautiful day with two sweet girls. Awww isn’t it sweet? And it was…at this particular moment.

What I DIDN’T post was 10 minutes before that when our youngest peed in her pants. Or when our oldest exclaimed how this was the best idea ever…until a mosquito bit her and it instantly turned into the “worst idea ever”.

Scrolling through my recent feed you can also find pictures of the hubs and I on a date, some DIY projects we have done in the kitchen, my recent batch of canned tomatoes, and of course, cute pics of the kids. And then it hit me….EUREKA!! It almost looks like I have it all together! This is not good! I have a blog called imperfect people for crying out loud! And then I laughed hysterically knowing how I am truly far from perfect.

What you WON’T find on my feed is pics of hubs and I in an argument, the flaws and frustrations in our DIY projects, the huge mess that was our kitchen after canning tomatoes, and when the kids are driving us to the funny farm.

The problem is, We compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

The truth is, my reality is messy, unorganized, without makeup, designer clothes, famous names or places. My typical uniform consists of a T shirt, faded shorts, no make up and a ponytail. In fact I typically look like a college student that just rolled out of bed (that is prematurely aging). I can’t possibly keep a clean house no matter how hard I try, and every time I think I am spiritually “mature” I am knocked down realizing how much I really, I mean REALLY need Jesus in every part of my life.

What I am coming to realize is EVERYONE feels this way. I know now behind the scenes of even the most “perfect post” are often far less than perfect. Reality is what makes us…well REAL!! It makes us who we are and who we are created to be.

myWPEdit Image

Emily from, Remodeling this life, says: I am learning each and every day that we all struggle with these things when we see other people’s lives. Is it just what we do –stuff down the bad stuff and put on a happy face? At least focusing on the happy face and the good stuff at the end of each day reminds that in the middle of all the bad, imperfect parts of me and my life, there is good to celebrate.

It’s a good reminder that we all have something worth sharing.

Celebrate with your friends their triumphs and journeys, but don’t compare yourself! It’s a trap that we can never escape.

myWPEdit Image

photo credit

We all have a mess behind the camera (often times literally when taking a picture of the house!!)

I am certainly not suggesting we share the less than perfect times in our lives but certainly DON’T stop sharing the good stuff!

Social media is a wonderful thing. I almost forgot how we got along without it! But it is merely a glimpse at each other’s life. Reality if often much different. Even when reality isn’t great, sharing the few nuggets of “awesome” in your day make you, and all your friends smile. And with that…my latest post:

I’m off to eat some “perfection!”

myWPEdit Image

Don’t be a stranger! Click here to subscribe via email.

Personal testimoney of love and loss through infertility and adoption Bessie’s story:

I am honored to share with you, my dear friend, Bessie’s story. She has been such a picture of Jesus to me and everyone around her as she has walked through the painful and beautiful road of love and loss through infertility, pregnancy, and adoption. Here is God’s story, in Bessie Cameron:

I’ve always had a heart for children, a desire to one day be a Mom was in my heart since I was much younger. When I married, my husband and I battled infertility. During this time when we kept trying to use medical technology to start a family, we also felt led to become foster parents. Our lives were touched by several beautiful children we had in our home, in October 2009 we were able to adopt our first child, Leila Bess. Just prior to her adoption, we also FINALLY achieved a pregnancy thru in vitro fertilization (IVF)! It was more than we ever dreamed! We were blessed with a precious new baby AND I was pregnant! But at 20 weeks devastation occurred. My body went into labor far too early and we lost our precious son, Jameson. Over the next two years we took a break from medical treatments and prayed about God’s plan for our family. We still had many embryos frozen, and we were not sure whether IVF or maybe another option like surrogacy or adoption was our calling. We even had a dear friend offer to carry the baby!

Towards the end of this time we gave a few more attempts at IVF- many that had to be canceled due to my adenomyosis, and we had two failed transfers.

We decided to take another break and really pray about the will of God in our lives and for our family. During this time I read the inspiring story- Kisses from Katie. We discussed it and prayed nightly. That’s when Gods will was clear to my husband and I…adoption. It was a way we could help out an unborn baby, a woman with an unplanned pregnancy, and expand our family. We did a home study and spread the word amongst friends and family.

Within a few months we found a young woman who needed us. She was all alone in her pregnancy with no support. We began walking with her and helping give her our support and leading her to resources. I knew all along that there was always a chance she could change her mind, but I felt we were walking with her and that we were right where God wanted us to be. I knew He would be faithful.

Lily was born in late May; I cut the cord after helping the mother, with my sweet friend who agreed to be her Doula, through an all night labor. We took Lily home and were thrilled to have a new addition into our family. We loved on sweet Lily for 12 days and then the unimaginable happened: the birth mother texted me to tell me she had changed her mind.

She wanted to parent Lily. I lost it, and I panicked! I was filled with fear. I thought and said things I shouldn’t. There was some question as to whether the change of heart had come too late for us to have to legally return her. Some people advised us to fight for her, saying it would be in her best interest in the long run. After several days of meeting with counselors, the birthmother, and consulting with Godly friends, I realized what we needed to do.

During one of those early morning feedings I examined the word of God, the ultimate resource for all of life’s problems, for how to handle disagreements and whether going to court was the right answer. I knew all along the right answer, and in retrospect I know that the reason I knew it was because the Holy Spirit resides in me. That night I read of kindness, forgiveness, and I knew what the next painful steps would be. At the same park where we first met, 2 months prior, we gave our precious Lily back to her mother. Not only was this a devastating loss emotionally, but financially as well. We lost the baby we thought was ours, but we also lost the money invested in lawyers, counselors, travel and other expenses. Much of that was not refunded. Not only that, I was worried we would not be able to now afford another adoption.

A week past and I returned home to Florida. I got a text from a dear friend asking if I had read her emails and texts and what I thought about this new situation. I went back and read them and couldn’t believe my eyes! When I had asked her to pray for us in the midst of our crisis- she had responded that God may already be moving. There was another baby!

She was to be born exactly 1 month after Lily’s due date. My husband and I prayed about it, and decided we would again open our hearts and our home. This birthmother needed us even more, and was so grateful for us to adopt her baby girl. Baby Libby Grace was born on July 4, 2012.

myWPEdit Image

She has been in our arms ever since! The birth mother signed over her rights in the hospital. I have hesitated to tell our story, because until recently we were still waiting to see if the possible birthfather had registered to claim paternity. He did not! After this there will be several other formal steps of adoption to go through before it is final. We look forward to that day, when we know for sure she is ours to keep!

We’ve built our family through adoption and have been blessed beyond belief! We are so grateful for the support and encouragement we’ve found in friends and family along the journey! It is so worth it!!

Thank you Bessie for sharing your beautiful life story with us. I am excited there is a fun (and stylish) way we can help support Bessie’s family through their journey of adoption! These adoption tee’s sell for $15. ALL PROCEEDS go to help support domestic adoption!
100% cotton tee designed by Catalyst Promotions. The front reads: “Love makes a family” and the back reads, “I didn’t give you life, but life gave me the gift of you” Support Adoption. You know you want one!

myWPEdit Image

Sizes

 

Capturing 2

myWPEdit Image

Our precious Ava turns 3 today! Her baby curls are growing out and her legs are growing long, loosing their cute little chubby nature. As much as I think I will never forget the cute little things she says and does time passes and many things are quickly forgotten.  Here is my best attempt at Capturing Two!

Dear Ava, Our full of personality little girl. You love to follow your sister everywhere she goes, yet you are independent to the core. You spend at least half an our a day putting you baby dolls to bed, checking on them, “reading” them a story…then…they are awake!

You say funny things like Pepper-minuite for pepermint. Your favorite place in our house is behind the recliner. Yesterday I cleaned up crayons. goldfish, a calculator, and all your pajamas stuffed in a bookbag.

I think it’s just a ploy to stay awake longer but most nights when we put you to bed you say, “Wait!! I need to give my sister some love!” And I think it’s too cute to say no.  It’s better than your earlier “two’s” when you would take all of your clothes off when you were supposed to be sleeping. We put your zipped up (footless) sleepers on backwards, where they to fix that…one time you still got out of it.

You make us laugh with your determination to wear crazy things and think it’s perfectly normal.

myWPEdit Image

You are a mini-me in so many ways.  You don’t mind getting dirty digging up worms in the garden yet you are often spotted cleaning the floor with a baby wipe.  No one can tell you what to do (a good and bad trait).  And you love taking care of people.

This picture pretty much sums up every afternoon:myWPEdit Image

Precious Ava, you are such a gift. Your dad and I love your silly ways and your gentle spirit. Happy Birthday sweet girl!
myWPEdit Image