No Judgment

You work.

I stay home.

You buy on credit

We save up for our purchases

You like designer purses

I like yard sale purses

Your house looks like a museum

My house looks like we have kids

If you judge other people you have no time to love them

–Mother Teresa

You had your baby in a bath tub

I got an epidural

I use Cloth diapers

and you think I’m weird

You don’t talk to your Mom.

I call mine every day.

You sing hymns.

I rock out.

You are a morning person

I am jealous

You hate tattoos.

I think they’re cool

Your kids don’t watch TV

Mine do

In the same way you judge others you will be judged -Jesus

You shop therapy

I garden therapy

Your kids NEVER misbehave

Mine….ha ha ha ha!! Oh sorry was I laughing?

You are shy

I can talk to a wall

You are organized

I am forgetful

You say “you guys”

I say “yall”

You try to live your life the best way you know how.

So do I.

And we don’t need to let the little things divide us.

Inspired by Storing up treasures

Grace for the GREEN girl

Becoming “green”really and truly is such a journey. I never considered myself “green” I just liked to do things that were frugal and made sense for our family and for our planet.

When making a purchase or planning a meal it seemed I would always ask myself, “What is the healthiest AND least expensive option?” I was almost a game like I had to be the house maker of the year all the while setting unreachable goals and expectations.

Even when I was out with the kids until 5 pm, grabbing dinner on the way home wasn’t an option because, it cost money, and it’s not healthy. In turn I would get home with tired, cranky, and hungry children. It was dinner time so I am left to scramble around the kitchen to see if there is anything I could call dinner for the evening….homemade and healthy of course.

Sometimes it became almost a competition with myself and it has also just become down right exhausting.

Turn page…

Today I find myself in a very REALISTIC season of life. My girls are no longer babies and I am starting to drastically declutter my life with commitments and STUFF. All that to say I am more clearly seeing what truly matters and asking myself a new question….“What is the less stressful option?”

Let me tell you girlfriend, This question is a game changer. If the “BEST” i.e. healthiest and greenest option leaves you stressed out and wanting to go hide in a closet with a box of cookies…then the true BEST option, for this time, is the easiest.

imperfect tree

Here is how that question has changed my life lately:

There are days we have homemade pizza made with homemade dough complete with fresh milled flour and pizza sauce canned from my backyard tomatoes.
And there are days that we have little cesears because it is hot, and ready, and five dollars.

Sometimes dinner guest have dishes and linens because “green girls don’t use disposable dishes”
Sometimes green girls use disposable dishes.

I reduce and reuse like a champ
But I don’t recycle (I know green girls cardinal sin, but we don’t have curbside and having trash build up in my garage is a stressor I am not willing to try again).

There are seasons when I get bushels of apples to make my own homemade apple-everything
There are seasons when I appreciate the wonderful people that are Mott’s applesauce.

I made my own deodorant once.
I decided store bought deodorant will help me to keep my friends.

Ocasionally I walk the kids home from school because we live close and it’s more “green”
However most the time I don’t because walking about a mile with 4 kids (my neighbors as well) 7 and younger isn’t always fun and usualy takes forever.

Sometimes I use the food dehydrator to make my own fruit roll-ups
And sometimes I buy the expensive “good for you ones” because they are easier.

When my kids were babies we would use cloth diapers at home
And not when we were out. (side note to those that cloth diaper 100% of the time, I vote you deserve a trophy)

Semi-unrelated: Most of my green friends did natural child birth
I didn’t because there was no trophy.

Most of the time I make my own cleaners
But nothing gets your whites whiter than good-ole-bleach.

The last time my kids had a cough, I tried all kinds of herbs and teas…
And then I bought robitussin.

I have been known to repurpose boxes and newspaper as a weed barrier in the garden. Which makes for less trash.
I also get secretly almost gleeful every time I have another bag full of trash because that is less CRAP in my house.

I used to make my own yogurt.
I find the grocery store does an excellent good job at this, and for now I don’t want to take that away from them.

So there you have some GRACE for the green girl. While I do make green choices where possible. I also am ok with doing what is EASY when needed too.

How do you give yourself grace with your green choices?

It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.K???

On our ride home the other day our 5 year old started singing, “YMCK” complete with the (wrong) hand motions.

Like any good parent I realize the significance and importance of teaching our children the CORRECT way to sing this disco classic lest you be the crazy person at wedding receptions doing it wrong. So I jumped in, “No it’s actually, “YMCA, like this see?”

I expected, “oh well clearly, you are older, wiser, and such an incredible dancer (ok maybe not that part) then you surly know the correct version of the song, thanks oh wise mother of mine for your guidance.” …or something like that.

But instead she was INSISTENT that it was Y.M.C.K. Now several days later she is still 100% sure her version is correct. Happy to sing the song incorrectly while dancing across the living room floor.

It occurred to me…this is so me and God. Time and time again I say, “no my life should look like this God” I can think of times in my past especially when I was young when I thought:

I SHOULD have got that job GOD!!
Me and this guy should have worked out!!
I don’t want to move Or I want to move.
I know what is best!!!

And I can see God, knowing the correct way my life should go, knowing what is best and how crazy my life would be if I “sang the wrong lyrics” Just smiling…Yes honey that’s one way to “sing” but I know the best way.

I bet I seem a little ridiculous when I am insistent I know what is best. I have a limited vantage point, limited resources, brain power etc etc…. yet in my stubbornness I can STILL become convinced my way is best.

There have been many times where I have cried, and fought it, yet God’s way won out in the end. I don’t know why I am ever surprised but His way is ALWAYS better, ALWAYS perfect, and ALWAYS necessary.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:1-2

Today she sang “homie” instead of “holy” to her seeds family worship CD I’m not gonna lie I thought it was kinda funny but, I should probably correct her before her sunday school teacher starts asking her to rap.

Just like the song lyrics our father knows SO MUCH better than we do. He is fully capable and fully aware of what is best for your life, we just have to let go of our way (it’s usually wrong anyway) and trust in His.

In defense of Miley and other teen stars

I spent the last week trying to ignore the Miley Cyrus circus at the VMA’s. But everywhere I look or listen there she is.

(Picture source)
A crazy awful performance that left everyone appalled. Just like in the 80’s when Madonna danced around in a wedding outfit singing “like a virgin” Just like when Brittney spears performed half awake shortly before shaving her head.

(Brittany picture source) (Madonna picture source)

I try to stay away from controversy but I can’t help but notice…when did everyone become so insanely tremendously Judgmental??!!

As a society we ~~want~~ EXPECT these starts to be:

Pretty but not over the top
Talented but not vain
They should be “moral” but we all define that differently
Skinny but not too skinny
Heaven forbid if they get fat
Perfect bod, perfect makeup, and dress

If they mess up any of the above it will be on 10 magazine covers, 200 gossip sites, millions of facebook updates and the topic of the morning talk shows.

If I had that kind of pressure at the age of 20, I think I would shave my head too.

Now hear me out. I am not saying this is a cop out. I wish everyone in the spot light new the gravity of their behavior as young minds try to model them. But unfortunately fame doesn’t come with instructions and I’m not sure anyone would obey them anyway.

There are girls Miley’s age dancing scantly at bars on any given weekend Miley just has a MUCH larger audience. They are both just looking for love and attention in the wrong places.

Can we extend some love and acceptance knowing that she is made for so much more?? Who am I to point out her not so fabulous performance? Yes I thought it was awful but she has 2 of the top 10 hits on itunes so people can’t be that appalled.

Here’s the deal, we all do stupid things (especially at 20 years old). I want to be friends with Miley, Brittany, and “you fill in the blank star”. And tell them they are LOVED. They are made with great purpose. and they are worth more than cheap attention.

The buzz of this performance will soon pass but I hope she hears the message of love over hate. While we certainly don’t like her performance we love her as a human being. She is still God’s little princess made perfectly imperfect Her value in the world’s eyes is so temperamental and fleeting. I pray someone close to her will show her her amazing and priceless worth in God’s eyes knowing she is a precious jewel meant for so much more than what the world offers.

I wannabe a weirdo

We are all subject to peer pressure whether we admit it or not. But when your peers are doing some questionable things its time to go against the grain. Here is a snapshot of our typical “normal” peer in America:

According to the Mortgage Bankers Association, at least 8 million Americans are at least one month behind on their mortgage payments at this point.

Average household debt in the United States has now reached a level of 136% of average household income. In China, average household debt is only 17% of average household income.

Back in 1965, only one out of every 50 Americans was on Medicaid. Today,one out of every 6 Americans is on Medicaid.

The average US household credit card debt stands at $15,216

Average mortgage debt: $148,443

Average student loan debt: $32,054 (source)

Of all countries, the United States has the highest rate of obesity. From 13% obesity in 1962, to 35.7% in 2010 (source)

55 percent of all marriages result in divorce. (source)

Research indicates that people who live together prior to getting married are more likely to have marriages that end in divorce. ” The Boston Herald

The average American spends 2.7 hours a day watching TV (source)

“More than ever before, work dominates people’s lives in this country” –Joanne B. Ciulla,

One-third of children age 8 – 17 believe their parent has been always or often worried or stressed out about things during the past month.

If the average “normal” American is financially upside down, unhealthy, overworked, in a bad relationship and stressed out…then I don’t think being normal sounds so fun.

Craig Groschel wrote a book (I highly recommend) called “Weird because normal isn’t working” that states, “when people describe his family as weird, he finds comfort.” I couldn’t agree more.

The bible tells us: If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. John 15:19

“If the world hates you, be aware that it hated me first”.-Jesus

Living differently sometimes results in criticism. Going with the crowd can be so easy that being “weird” requires seeking correct guidance and it isn’t always the easiest route. I don’t want our family to be a statistic. I want us to be…well…weird.

I want to be so WEIRD I save up to buy things and delay gratification instead of buying on credit.

I want to such a WEIRDO that I could stand living with less if it means I can have less stress and more time with my family.

I want to be the WEIRD family that guards the media that comes into our home.

I want to be so WEIRD that I eat food whose ingredients I can pronounce.

I want so be so WEIRD that I take INTENTIONAL time with my husband so we can still be in love years after the, “I do.”

And I want so be criticized for saying NO to something good so I can say YES to something great.

What do you think about all this weird talk. Are you a weirdo too?

Imperfect “Quiet time”

Every Christian I have ever met gives them self a guilt trip for not having a proper or frequent “quiet time”. I think we somehow think if the earth doesn’t shake and our bible doesn’t levitate while praying then we didn’t do it right.

I certainly feel a little inadequate discussing a subject of how to grow in your relationship with the God of the entire universe. So don’t take this as a “how to guide” rather than just what works for one imperfect girl.

My quiet time has taken many forms. I have learned which ways I learn best, and in which ways just put me to sleep. In this stage of life my ideal quiet time looks like this:

First let me say the holy bible app has been the best thing that ever happend to my quiet time. I will talk more about that in a second but if you don’t have that on any “Smart gadget” get it!

Get up, head to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal (yes I eat before I do anything else) I bring my cereal to the couch where the house is still quiet. I have the “holy bible” app on my phone. I read the verse of the day (provided by the app) and write it in my journal. I repeat it a few times, write anything I feel God telling me through this. Often I write a prayer for what is on my mind and mostly WHAT I AM THANKFUL FOR. I then sit in silence a few minuets just marinating on this.

After the kids have woken up, eaten breakfast and happy with a cartoon, I listen to the audio version of the “multiply reading plan” (also on the bible app) by David Platt and Francis Chan I can listen to it from my phone while I get dressed and ready. The audio feature on this is app is, my friends, AWESOMENESS.

Not only do I learn so much more LISTENING to such a good story teller, but I can also listen while driving or folding clothes, putting on makeup, or any other mundane task.

And lastly, On the way to pre-school, the kids and I sing (at the top of our lungs) YOU MAKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS by gungor.

This happens on ideal mornings. Not every morning. This is also just what works for this stage of life. It wasn’t too long ago I was up all night with a baby and waking up even 30 seconds earlier than I had to was completely out of the question.

On days where I have stayed up too late or in a crazy rush, I can still listen to the audio version of the bible in the car. Listening/reading scripture really does have a way of setting the mood of the day.

At a bare minimum, when I can do nothing else, I sing a few song lyrics (in my head less anyone runs in terror) of this song that just permeates everything I am passionate about. These are they lyrics from a part of Hillsong’s Hoseanna song:

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdom’s cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

If I could have theme music I would want it to be this. Repeating this as my “mantra” helps me to live up to my theme music.

In different stages of life and in different context our time with God may look differently. Sometimes it is just sitting outside and marveling at his creativity, making a list of all of our blessings, CHOOSING to be happy when circumstances are less than ideal, or journaling our prayers.

The short of the story is this: Studying God’s word is absolutely important, sharing life and being built up by other believers is absolutely important. But the intimacy that comes from just you and God, together with no one else around is incomparable.

God is not one of guilt or to-do lists. He is a God of relationships. More than a 3 hour bible study, a long and eloquent prayer, or even serving others, he just wants you.

What does your “imperfect quiet time” look like. What works best for you?

To the me 10 years ago

I just read this book, “What Alice forgot” The quick summary is this: The main character, Alice, falls, hits her head, and when she wakes up she thinks she is 10 years younger. She doesn’t even know the children she had in the past 10 years, and mostly she doesn’t even know herself. Her relationships, choices, and lifestyle are completely foreign to her.

The book is fiction but it certainly made me think. What if the me, 10 years ago woke up in my life today. Would she like what she saw? Would she be happy with the choices I made? 10 Years ago I had just graduated college. I was not yet married and, in retro spec, my life was very self centered.

That’s me in the orange sweater 10 years ago with my 3 best buds.

I can imagine the old me would be absolutely shocked to find out:

-You no longer shop just to shop….like ever. Actually you kinda hate it now.
-You have no idea what is going on in pop culture
-You go in public with no make up and yoga pants and think nothing of it
-You cook. And no longer just as a means of survival but you actually enjoy it
-You have a garden….no really to do. You even teach gardening classes. Nuts right?
-You just made a batch of homemade lotion. I know you probably just fell over in shock with that… but for real. It turned out quite nice too. Recipe here.

Ok old me I know you think I have become a complete and total domestic hippy. But I have also learned a lot in 10 years. Here’s a few life lessons I wish I could have told the younger me:

-Stop trying so hard! Sheesh I am exhausted remembering how hard you worked to make everyone love you. It’s an impossible task! The people that do love you know the real you. And the real you isn’t so bad.

-Related…stop being so insecure. You will one day have this crazy thing called a blog where you will talk about how everyone is created perfectly imperfect… after a while you start to truly believe this.

-There were so many little things that worried you. You have come a LONG way with your worry. The biggest lesson is LIFE IS TEMPORARY. We are never promised tomorrow so enjoy the current moment and don’t let worry steal it away.

-Enjoy the time with your husband before you have kids. You will find it comical that you ever thought life was busy before them.

-When you are a new mom and you are worried like crazy every decision you make will impact your children for the rest of their life…GIVE YOURSELF GRACE. Children are resilient. They grow by your model more than your teaching. And mostly…they are God’ s children first. Lean on his teaching more than the latest trendy parenting advice.

-Listen to those that have been there and done that. They have really good advice. And by the way…you don’t know everything.

-With your time and your money, invest in stuff that LASTS

– And lastly…Don’t be afraid to do big things. You only get one chance at this whole thing called life.

I am curious to see what the me in the next 10 years would think of the me today. I wonder what advice she would give. I wonder what I am doing today that will positively and negatively affect my life then?

Only time will tell.

Does this make you think? What would you tell the you 10 years ago?

Headstones Don’t read job titles

Today I have the pleasure of introducing a guest blogger, my new “perfectly imperfect friend.” She writes over at, A perfect Girls’ quest for perfection. I hope you enjoy her post!

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English: Headstone on the path View over the headstones in the Howff towards Meadow side direction. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Unless you are the President or the Pope your headstone won’t show your career. I’ve never seen one that says “Great Administrative Assistant” or “Best Manager”. Your legacy is defined by the memories you make and the lives you touch, not your salary or your status. Here are my top five rules to achieving satisfying work/life balance:

Set boundaries. Let’s be honest, you can’t really be all things to all people. I had to set boundaries with work, family and friends. Unless there’s a hot project I have a cutoff time for work. I have boundaries for personal obligations as well. Instead of working twelve-hour days while trying to take care of home, exercise, volunteer, and spend time with family and friends, I had to create a schedule…and stick to it!

Prioritize. Know that there are days when work and life won’t balance. It’s ok. At the end of the day knowing what it takes to make you happy and making that a priority will make you a much happier person. I found mine in #3.

Disconnect. Being able to check out, if only for a brief time, is most relaxing. Everyday at 4pm I walk outside the office for about 15 minutes. I usually go alone and leave the BlackBerry on the desk. I’m sure the world can survive without me for 15 minutes. When I return I feel so relaxed and rejuvenated. The day goes faster and I have that boost of energy to carry out my personal responsibilities.

“No” is an acceptable answer. Oftentimes we will accept any and all requests knowing there aren’t enough hours in the day to fulfill all of them. Declining a request doesn’t make you a bad person. Sometimes you have to look out for you and make no apologies for it.

Do what makes you happy. Figure out what makes you happy and fulfilled and do it as often as possible. I enjoy catching up with my friends. The great part about that is my friends are athletic like me so not only do we get to hang out, but we also try some new workout craze. I look forward to it and it keeps me going until our next outing.

We all have to establish the rules that work best for our lifestyle. Though my rules don’t always work in perfect harmony, they are always the driving force in my daily decisions. I challenge you to set five goals to live by for your work/life balance.

To connect with Jasmine you can check her out on her blog. thanks Jasmine!

Social Media and the view of “perfect”

Have you ever scrolled through your Facebook, read a few tweets, or read a blog of someone’s “perfect life” and felt a little inadequate?

It’s not like anyone means any harm. The very idea of social media is to share updates and highlights of our life. We are fascinated by it! We even follow stars we don’t personally know to read and see their last post.

We highlight the good, fun, and interesting part of our day.

Take for example, this picture I took the other day and posted to instagram.

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An outdoor picnic on a beautiful day with two sweet girls. Awww isn’t it sweet? And it was…at this particular moment.

What I DIDN’T post was 10 minutes before that when our youngest peed in her pants. Or when our oldest exclaimed how this was the best idea ever…until a mosquito bit her and it instantly turned into the “worst idea ever”.

Scrolling through my recent feed you can also find pictures of the hubs and I on a date, some DIY projects we have done in the kitchen, my recent batch of canned tomatoes, and of course, cute pics of the kids. And then it hit me….EUREKA!! It almost looks like I have it all together! This is not good! I have a blog called imperfect people for crying out loud! And then I laughed hysterically knowing how I am truly far from perfect.

What you WON’T find on my feed is pics of hubs and I in an argument, the flaws and frustrations in our DIY projects, the huge mess that was our kitchen after canning tomatoes, and when the kids are driving us to the funny farm.

The problem is, We compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

The truth is, my reality is messy, unorganized, without makeup, designer clothes, famous names or places. My typical uniform consists of a T shirt, faded shorts, no make up and a ponytail. In fact I typically look like a college student that just rolled out of bed (that is prematurely aging). I can’t possibly keep a clean house no matter how hard I try, and every time I think I am spiritually “mature” I am knocked down realizing how much I really, I mean REALLY need Jesus in every part of my life.

What I am coming to realize is EVERYONE feels this way. I know now behind the scenes of even the most “perfect post” are often far less than perfect. Reality is what makes us…well REAL!! It makes us who we are and who we are created to be.

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Emily from, Remodeling this life, says: I am learning each and every day that we all struggle with these things when we see other people’s lives. Is it just what we do –stuff down the bad stuff and put on a happy face? At least focusing on the happy face and the good stuff at the end of each day reminds that in the middle of all the bad, imperfect parts of me and my life, there is good to celebrate.

It’s a good reminder that we all have something worth sharing.

Celebrate with your friends their triumphs and journeys, but don’t compare yourself! It’s a trap that we can never escape.

photo credit

We all have a mess behind the camera (often times literally when taking a picture of the house!!)

I am certainly not suggesting we share the less than perfect times in our lives but certainly DON’T stop sharing the good stuff!

Social media is a wonderful thing. I almost forgot how we got along without it! But it is merely a glimpse at each other’s life. Reality if often much different. Even when reality isn’t great, sharing the few nuggets of “awesome” in your day make you, and all your friends smile. And with that…my latest post:

I’m off to eat some “perfection!”

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When you are not in control..on worry

It has been a crazy couple of months. I wrote about our terrifying adventure to the hospital with Hannah. In addition my husband had a skin cancer removed from his nose ,and I found I out I have a genetic condition that makes my body hold on to more iron than it should.
I kinda freaked out
I know Christians are supposed to no worry, we should rest easy knowing that God is in complete control. But my faith can be so weak.

I think I am driving everyone around me (especially my poor husband) absolutely crazy with my worry.
What if they didn’t get all of the skin cancer from Bryan’s nose? What if I eat too much red meat (loaded with iron)? And don’t even get me started with all the worry I have been doing over Hannah’s exposure to too many X-rays from her skull fracture.

During the middle of all this I have a dear friend who sent me this scripture:

A huge storm came up. Waves poured into the boat, threatening to sink it. And Jesus was in the stern, head on a pillow, sleeping!
They roused him, saying, “Teacher, is it nothing to you that we’re going down?”
Awake now, he told the wind to pipe down and said to the sea, “Quiet! Be still!” The wind ran out of breath; the sea became smooth as glass. Jesus reprimanded the disciples: “Why are you such cowards? Don’t you have any faith at all?”
They were in absolute awe, staggered. “Who is this, anyway?” they asked. “Wind and sea at his beck and call!” Mark 4:35

“This is so amazing to me. There was a huge storm. The disciples all thought the worst, they were (like me) FREAKING. And what was Jesus doing?? SLEEPING.

While I am thinking, “JESUS!!! Wake up!!! What in the world is going on!!?? Do something!!”

He is saying, “BE STILL Don’t you have any faith? I am in COMPLETE control here. This event is no surprise to me. The storm will pass, you are in good hands”

The storms are not fun. But they are inevitable. They come and they go, some are strong and terrifying.

Storms get in the way of “our plans” and are usually very unwelcome.

If you’re like me you try to “control” the storm. After Hannah’s fall I am still a little skittish. I have seriously considered constructing a giant hamster wheels for our kids to live in where they would be protected from life. I’m sure they would be socially adapted don’t you think?

As crazy as that would be, it is just as crazy to think I am in any type of control of the storms of life. I have two options:

1)Live in fear of every possible storm: Lay in bed at night playing out worse case scenario. (not that I have ever done this…just sayin.)

2)Let my fears BE STILL: Rest knowing that I am NOT in control. Take joy knowing I am promised an eternity with Christ no matter the length of my life. And enjoy the present.

Most days I am NOT in a storm but worry is stealing the joy of the present.
Jesus knows what he is talking about when he said,

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Matthew 6:34 (FYI this is one of the most searched verses in the bible…good to know I’m not the only one).

Jesus took on the pain of fear and worry(and anything else you struggle with) 2000 years ago. He painfully nailed them to a cross so we wouldn’t have to feel them anymore.

Thank you Jesus for such an amazing gift. And thank you for this present moment, where everything in life is just right. Let me enjoy this day, and let tomorrow worry about itself.

Love
Katie
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Imperfect People

Imperfect People in love with a perfect God

Category Archives: Imperfection

No Judgment

Grace for the GREEN girl

It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.K???

In defense of Miley and other teen stars

I wannabe a weirdo

Imperfect “Quiet time”

To the me 10 years ago

Headstones Don’t read job titles

Social Media and the view of “perfect”

When you are not in control..on worry