“And they lived….Happily Ever After”
Well thanks Disney and romantic comedies. That makes a cute story and all but there are an AGGLOMERATION of details we are missing here.
In real life: He forgets to take out the trash and she doesn’t always shave her legs. When you are covered with spit up and diaper rash cream you don’t feel very sexy. And, I hate to break it to you, but you both fart too.
Culture, movies, advertisements, magazines, and comparison to others can do a pretty convincing job in telling you marriage is supposed to be blissfully perfect and if not, you should call it quits, plus you “deserve” to be happy right?
The truth is this:
Perfect marriage is as unrealistic as Cinderella and the prince. Perfect ended in the garden. We ALL have arguments, real life temptations, money strains, and unexpected stressors.
When it comes to deserving to be happy:
The King of the world who “deserved” the finest palace with a 100 servants at his feet was born in a dark cold MANGER with animals and dirt all around.
As an adult, He took the pain that he did not “deserve” in a cruel and awful punishment that He could have walked away from in an instant.
He voluntarily placed the comforts of heaven, His rank, and all he “deserved” to the side, because of love.
In light of this I think overlooking a few annoying habits and thinking of ourselves a little less, and our spouse a little more gets much easier.
YOU are the only one in control of your happiness.
All this being said, marriage can absolutely be “blissful and happily ever after” It just looks different than it does in movies.
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times — always with the same person.” ― Mignon McLaughlin
As the days and years pass, we change, we grow, and we are not the same people we were on our wedding day. As Steve Perry says in “Faithfully,” my all time favorite 80’s song, “I get the joy of rediscovering you.”
We must never stop dating and learning the about what is exciting in each others lives. Discovering your mate in their new roles as they change from newly wed to married with young children. In new jobs, with new hobbies and new experiences we always have something new to discuss.
Bryan and I are as imperfect as any couple. We just decided not to be committed to ” the marriage” because we could get another “the marriage” we are committed to each other.
Growing old together is not always glamours. It’s about real life, and real people learning how to put their selfishness aside to love UNCONDITIONALLY. Not because they always deserve it, but because that is they way Jesus loves us, when we do not deserve it.