I lead a college girls bible study. They are beautiful and precious young girls. As we met last week I couldn’t help but remember these ladies are all someone’s daughter. Now that we have our own two girls I know what that kind of love is like.
Then I thought of our heavenly father And how much he loves every girl, all of his daughters! Daughters of the one true King!
But we, as women, forget this. We think we are not good enough.
We live in a sick and twisted culture. Sex and relationships are cheap, easy, and we pretend like there are no strings attached. Casual sex is laughed off on sitcoms and movies. Photo-shoped images of “perfect” women are all over websites and magazines. Women are left confused. We end up jumping through hoops trying to be the prettiest, dress the best, or say and do the right things to catch a man’s eye.
If I could tell all young women (well all women actually) a few things, it would be this:
1) You are the daughter of a KING. I believe that makes you a princess. With great care and intention the creator of the stars, flowers, rain, and the moon also made you. Nothing was a mistake. Everything about you is a work of art.
2) Yes even you
To everyone who read #1 and thought, well that doesn’t apply to me. Yes it does.
3) Imagine yourself as a rare and precious jewel..because well you are. When it comes to dating, ask yourself, “Does this guy deserve a date with a rare and precious jewel?” Does he treat you like you are a daughter of God? Do not underestimate your worth!
4)Are you the person you are looking for…is looking for?
Do you act like you believe you are royalty? Most of my single friends say they want a man who is a spiritual leader. One who is seeking after Christ even more than he is seeking her. The only problem is they are looking for him in a bar while they are sloppy drunk. A spiritual leader is looking for a girl who is also seeking God.
A woman’s heart should be so close to God that man has to seek God to find her.
5)Help a guy out
We know from research (and from asking any guy) that men are visual. Marketing knows this well by putting half naked women to sell their product. Dressing modestly not only makes you appear more respectful, it also helps the guys who are trying to guard their eyes. I know as women we think nothing of a low cut shirt or barley there shorts but men think about it…a LOT. Help them to keep their mind’s pure and help yourself by leaving something to the imagination.
6) Be careful about making marriage/relationships your idol
If you find yourself doing things you wouldn’t normally do or questioning what you always thought was wrong, then you have an idol. Ladies, PLEASE realize your worth in Christ before you try to let a guy define your worth for you.
7) He can’t be all things. From an early age we are taught a man will bring us our, “happily ever after.” Not only is that untrue, it is unfair. No man can carry that kind of burden. You should get your fulfillment in Christ. He is the ONLY thing that will TRULY complete you (i.e. my favorite story EVER in the bible) Finding the right guy can compliment you but not complete you (sorry Jerry McGuire).
8) It’s more than “just sex” Culture tells us that sex is just physical. Yet everyone who has had sex outside of marriage is left with emotional scars and we wonder why it turned out to be way more than just physical. Everyone pretends like it doesn’t hurt but we are designed to become one with just one. Deep down we all know it is more than just physical. This is why it would be better to be beat up than raped.
God tells us that sex outside of marriage is different than any other sin. Not because he judges harder or loves you any less but because He knows how deeply it scars.
1Corinthians 6:18 There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
9)“Try it before you buy it” is ridiculous.
I would like to buy a billboard in every major city that says this:
Sex does not require practice.
100 out of 100 people would rather hear from their future spouse , “Here is all of me, for all of you” instead of “I am a sex expert”
Sex is fragile and powerful. Just like a fire, it is beautiful in my fireplace, where it belongs. but in the middle of my living room it is destructive and leaves permanent damage.
10)If you have made bad choices in the past, today is a new day. Start today KNOWING the FACT that in Christ you have a clean slate. You can have a fresh start. Psalm 103:12 says just as far as the east is from the west he has separated us from our sin. You DON’T have to be who you used to be. Anyone who is in Christ is a new creation. 2 Cor 5:17. Leave that old person behind and be who God created you to be.
Whether you think this is old fashioned. whether you think this is good for me but not for you, that’s ok, but the outcome and consequences are always the same. It’s not a matter of preference, it’s a matter of design.
You were designed for something so much greater than what our culture has told you. You are a work of art, formed to show the love of Christ, a relentless, unconditional selfless love to your perfect mate. One person. Protect your heart and your body. You deserve to experience love the way God intended.
Please check out my inspiration for much of this and arguablly one of the best sermons series ever below.
New Rules for Love Sex and Dating by Andy Stanley